The Answer Is Independence

You’ll have to excuse me, I have been raised my entire life with conspiracy theory, imminent apocalypse theories, “You’re the next John Connor” theories, government theories, etc. I am just so burned out on them…sometimes things just happen, ya know?

I can’t stand the expression ‘false flag’ and now anytime something happens it’s ‘a false flag,’ ‘the government’s gonna use this against us,’ etc… bullshit. Guess why no one has over thrown the US Government yet? Because we’re really all comfortable living in a first world country. Also guess what? They can make any laws they want to, what I do in my home and with my life is and will still be my business. Outlaw drugs? Yeah, that worked well.

Not to mention all the budget cuts that have affected state and local police departments has made it so our local law enforcement doesn’t even have to funding to uphold some of these ridiculous regulations some people are trying to say they are going to enforce now. “Increased security at sporting events” gets telephoned into “martial law” by some people… Maybe it’s because I’ve been desensitized to all this, but maybe it’s just because I don’t care anymore. Maybe it’s because I feel strong enough as a person and in my mind to defend myself and my family….who the hell knows? But what I DO know is…I know A LOT more about government conspiracy then you, most likely. And guess what the answer is… INDEPENDENCE.

Don’t like the feeling that your ‘freedoms’ and ‘rights’ can get taken away? Move somewhere remote. Join a fucking hippy commune. Make your own clothes, food. Use natural resources. No one bothers you out there. No one takes away your freedoms or looks in your windows. But guess what? None of you people will do that (except of course my mother LOL) because YOU ENJOY THE CONVENIENCES of everyday life here in America. Simple as that. So either DO SOMETHING or STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING.

“The government is corrupt.” REALLY?! WHERE THE F*CK HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS? It just seems like everyone wants to complain and point fingers at ‘immigration’ and ‘government’, etc. We all know sitting around complaining to a keyboard will really do some good.
So please, could all your conspiracy people SHUT UP OR DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
KAYTHANKSRANTOVER

No Regrets, Kid.

Today would have been my Dad’s 54th birthday.

Sometimes I think birthdays are the hardest days. This day is supposed to be all about him.

In my house, we never celebrated birthdays, as they were ‘just another day,’ and ‘overly marketed by corporations to sell things you don’t really need.’

Since he died, all I want to do is celebrate his birthday.

Go back in time, and give him some great birthday parties to remember.

Go buy him a really awesome laser scope or rain meter or something weird that only he could enjoy. Something to make him feel like he was remembered and special and show him how much he meant to me.

But we never had one of those birthdays for him, and we never will.

I think that’s the saddest part of all.

Even studying grief and death…it doesn’t make it any easier. It just gives you tools to better cope. I still find myself having the instinct and thought to give him a call sometimes and tell him something ridiculous–and then when I remember I can’t…

I lay in bed at night sometimes and all I can see is him laying lifeless and cold in a wooden box.

And the boots on his feet.

The boots he built his dream home with.

He had more plans for those boots.

When I look at my son I sometimes think how proud my Dad would be of him. How much he would absolutely love to get a warm little hug or see him walk and talk and experience new things.

Sometimes I manage to forget for a while, and then it all comes back even more vividly than before. You think you’re okay and that you’ve ‘moved on,’ but you haven’t and you never really will.

When someone you love dies, everything changes. Literally every single aspect of your life and mentality has changed forever. You will never be the same person again.

It’s like when the loved one leaves this world, they leave these little pieces of themselves behind for everyone that loved them. They stick to us and envelop us and help us along our own paths.

Sometimes it’s easy to celebrate life, make him proud, and be the most amazing person I can be.

Sometimes I get weak and sad and angry and don’t see the meaning of it at all.

But then I remember something he said to me when he was dying.

“No regrets, kid. No regrets.”

It’s hard not to live in the past and it’s even harder on days like today to keep your head up and simply move forward.

But that’s what he did. All the time.

I cry sometimes. I get angry sometimes.

I feel guilty for NOT feeling sad or angry enough sometimes.

It will be this way for a long time, this I know.

All I can do is follow the path his death has sent me on and try to be the best person I can be in the time I have here on this Earth. All I can do is try and live with no regrets.

So this year for your birthday, Dad, my present to you is a promise to live with no regrets–NOT reckless abandon, but an honest, good-hearted, kind and compassionate, learning, intelligent, regret-less life.

Instead of regrets, I will have lessons and learning experiences. I promise to take those experiences to heart, and not to waste any time on meaningless emotions and actions.

I promise to appreciate those around me, tell them I love them, earn and give respect.

I promise to make you proud and give the memories I was able to share with you to my son.

I promise to LIVE.

That’s what my Dad taught me.

I understand now, Dad. I understand so much more.

Happy birthday.

"Sundays too my father got up early 
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold, 
then with cracked hands that ached 
from labor in the weekday weather made 
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him. 

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking. 
When the rooms were warm, he'd call, 
and slowly I would rise and dress, 
fearing the chronic angers of that house, 

Speaking indifferently to him, 
who had driven out the cold 
and polished my good shoes as well. 
What did I know, what did I know 
of love's austere and lonely offices?"  -- Those Winter Sundays
                                           Robert Hayden

Short Black Ops II Multiplayer Rewiew

Well, since I can’t connect to the Black Ops II servers at this time, I suppose I can write a little something about my overall experience with the game to  this point.

While only able to get to level 24 in online multiplayer so far, I feel, as a long-time Call of Duty player, that I’m able to give my opinion on the online multiplayer of Black Ops II. Aside from some connectivity issues I’ve been experiencing for about 20 hours at this point, it seems like the makers have a done a decent job in changing many different aspects of the game to give it a new,  different feel than the original Black Ops.

The game has added and implemented many new procedures which offer responses to many complaints that people have had over the years. For example, Domination is now a two-round mode in which teams switch sides halfway through–a-la Search and Destroy– in efforts to stop spawn-trapping and camping. With the new perks and “pick ten” system, it feels as if you have more freedom of choice with your weapons and attachments.

There are a lot more attachment options–from different grips and stocks that offer different advantages– to several new scopes and sights for your weapons. My favorite new addition in the sights category would have to be the “target finder” scope. It’s essentially a scope that shows your enemies in a red squares and locks onto them. Imagine the marksman perk from MW3 revamped into an attachment. Amazing.

I also enjoy the new scorestreak system. Instead of being rewarded for getting kills without dying, the player is rewarded for the amount of points he or she gets in one life. So for example, with the old method, if you got a double-kill against an enemy, you would simply get two points toward your killstreak. With the new scoring system, you are rewarded for the points you received for those kills. So, if you got that double kill and one was a headshot, you’ll get those extra 50 points counting toward your scorestreak. Also counted are assist points, capture points, etc., which really helps your streak along nicely.

The new scorestreak rewards are very nice. Some are new altogether, and some are revamped.  The RC-XD is back, just the same as before, and the Death Machine is back as well, except this time, you get the Death Machine until all the ammo runs out, regardless of how many lives that takes. The new scorestreaks include the Warthog—which calls in an A-10 Thunderbolt that provides air support by doing several strafe runs on the map—the Hunter Killer drone, which Deploys a flying drone that seeks out and tries to destroy the nearest enemy player or vehicle, and a few other new welcome additions.

All-in-all, I think the game is a pretty refreshing take on the Call of Duty series. It has a very sci-fi, futuristic feel. The graphics are not as good as Modern Warfare’s, but they are much better than the first installment of Black Ops. The guns feel a little ‘nerfy’ compared to the weaponry in Modern Warfare, but the fresh-and-newness of them, the new attachments and perk options, and rewards in the game makes up for that. If you were a fan of the original Black Ops, I think it’s safe to say you will absolutely love Black Ops II. On the other hand, if you are a previous CoD-hater, I’d still say to give it a try. There are enough new policies and implementations to where it’s really worth giving it a second look-over.

At the moment the only complaints I have myself and am hearing from others in the community are the connectivity issues. The constant dropping of games and different errors people are receiving that’s preventing them from playing online. Here we are, two days after the initial release of one of the most anticipated games of all-time, and a lot of people are unable to play, including myself. That being said, it will not stop me from liking the game. The temporary server issues are just a bump in the road, and Activision states they are “working tirelessly” to resolve them. I’ll be waiting.

Elite Girl Sprkly Reviews Anarchy Online

Anyone who knows where I stand in the social order of Anarchy Online (AO) is going to call this entire article biased, but let me preface this by saying that I didn’t become Director of the game’s dedicated radio station (GridStream Productions  [http://www.gridstream.org] and the coordinator of their first real-life fan convention because I was paid to do either, or because they were some sort of last resort for my personal ambitions in life. First and foremost, I’m a player of Anarchy Online, and I took on the social roles in the community that I did because I feel so strongly about the game. If you want to call it bias, go right ahead. But the only bias that exists here is from a dedicated fan enjoying to its fullest the best game I’ve ever played.

In a market flooded with a hundred or so replicas of the same fantasy-themed MMO over and over again, with the same dumbed-down leveling opportunities and standard gear for each class, Funcom’s Anarchy Online definitely stands out as the premiere science fiction MMO of our time. It’s a free-to-play game, with paid subscriptions available that unlock premium areas of the game. It’s also eleven years old, and home to the oldest existing MMO-based radio station in the world (that’s myself and the crew over at GridStream).

Before you judge the game based on the fact that it’s old and still offers paid subscriptions, let’s look at the reasons why it has survived the test of time. Anarchy Online is truly unique in its play style, its world and its community. Most modern MMO’s claim that, but from my experience most are far more generic and predictable than AO. What you’ll get in AO is something that the modern games haven’t been able to capture, and that’s a sense of adventure, the opportunity to open your mind to something challenging and different, and a sense of community that’s unparalleled in modern games.

AO takes place on the world of Rubi-Ka, where a battle rages between the rebel clans and the evil Omni-Tek corporation. In AO, you’re stepping almost 30,000 years into the future to an age where common surgical implants and microscopic nanobots can relieve most forms of human suffering or transform any normal being into a weapon of destructive force. You’ll fight all manner of foes, including not just PvP with warring factions, but cyborgs, modified humans, robots, aliens, strange creatures of various shapes and forms, and even perhaps one day when you reach endgame you’ll face the horrors of The Beast or Lord of The Void.

While home to horrible enemies, Rubi-Ka is also home to some of the most endearing wildlife that many players have become so enamored with that they carry dolls in their likeness, or even cast a nano-program that will temporarily turn themselves (or friends) into that same little creature. I speak of Anarchy Online’s beloved leets. They’re odd little rodents that seem to defy the laws of physics with their giant heads and two tiny, bird-like legs, with no clearly discernible center of gravity.

AO has an extremely high learning curve, with the only hand-holding you receive being what you ask for from other players, who are usually willing to offer tips and help. While character creation is pretty basic compared to most modern games, the way you can customize your character’s play style as you progress is so detailed, it’s unmatched by any other game. You can create the strongest, most indestructible character, the weakest, most useless character, or anything in between by simply spending your Improvement Points on the right or wrong things. Guides are a player’s best friend, and with an 11-year-old game, there are plenty available for those who are new to the game.

There isn’t a linear questing system as with most modern MMO’s as we’re now used to. You can take “oldskool” Rubi-Ka solo or team missions from a mission terminal, hunt wildlife solo or with a team, complete daily missions for bonus experience, join an organization for extra help, or pay the subscription for the expansion areas to access places you can level more quickly and see more of the game. There are a million options for PvE, and you can also PvP with many different options for dueling, fighting political tower wars, or simply killing the opposition in your chosen playfield.

If you truly don’t have any interest in any of that and are more of a creative, free spirit, roleplaying is also alive and well in AO. With a game whose backstory was written by acclaimed author Ragnar Tørnquist, the world has a rich history and is writing more of it every day.

I’d like to also talk for a moment about what you may think my view is the most biased about – the community. I’ve played a lot of games, but I don’t have friends in other games like I do in AO. I think part of the reason for this is that it’s a more difficult game that’s been around for a long time, and the average age of players is older than that of more modern MMO’s. Age in this case, seems to equal maturity, for the most part. As part of the game’s radio station, I can tell you we have parties every day of the week normally and have a great crowd at most of them. We look forward to logging in and hanging out with our friends, and make new ones all the time. We just had our first fan convention for AO this past summer. AO Con 2012 [ http://ao-con.com] was predicted to only draw maybe 20 people, but instead we squashed the skeptics’ numbers by drawing a crowd of 51 people to Grand Rapids, Michigan for a weekend of partying with our AO friends, live DJ’s, a nerf gun battle, a presentation from Funcom on what they’re working on right now and tons of other fun activities. If that doesn’t speak for the dedication and closeness of the community in the game, then there’s no convincing you.

But let’s take an honest moment to look at the most obvious disadvantage to AO – the outdated graphics. The game hasn’t had a full graphics engine update, ever. Funcom is working on it as we speak and has been for a long time, and many players have grown tired of waiting for the new graphics engine and left. But if you look at the bigger picture, that AO is an incredibly fun and challenging game with so many different opportunities for PvE, PvP, roleplaying and socializing, and the beautiful vistas in Elysium in the Shadowlands and the amazing Rubi-Ka sunrise, it’s well worth looking past some polygonal edges and outdated textures.

To say that Anarchy Online is the best game ever made is totally true, in my opinion. Does it need some polishing to compete with more modern games? Sure. But is it still worth trying out for free and taking a chance at finding out for yourself what a diamond in the rough this game is? Absolutely. See you on Rubi-Ka, friends.

The True Spirit of Video Games

This story was submitted to me by a community member named Brandon. I couldn’t even bring myself to proofread it, and thought I would publish to my blog as-is. I did not want to take away from his story in any way, so I left it just the way it was sent to me. Truly the most amazing story of how video games can affect people’s lives for the better.

Anyone who calls themselves a gamer should be required to read this story.

I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

“This is the reason why I end every statement with the words: Brandon and babie3 slimmy (aka: PlayStation 3 Slim) and co

Why do I call the PlayStation 3 Slim the babie3 slimmy (aka: PlayStation 3 Slim) and co
Difficult question to answer, so I’ll try my best! I don’t know if I’ll ever meet the right person, settle down, have children, grow old and die a happy person! I know that may never happen with what I have – my disability has certain barriers that I may never over come and if I do it won’t happen in this lifetime, due to peoples perceptions on what a disability is and how they think it affects the person that has had a life changing experience of being disabled. Whilst some think they know – they actual don’t KNOW and may never know until it affects them!

If given the chance and if you see how PlayStation affects myself, the history of the PlayStation I have experienced! What it has taught me about myself! The experience I have been apart of that I have seen how positive the brand of the PlayStation has brought into my life and the uplift that was witnessed because of the PlayStation! Why do I end the messages with what you see? It’s a true story but a long story of what happened when I was studying at College!

Whilst I was studying at college. I knew a friend of mine who was sobbing! I asked a member of staff at the cafeteria to bring over 2 cups of coffee. I sat beside him and asked him if I could be of any assistance? He went on to explain to me, his daughter whose name was Aimee, was terminally ill with Cancer and had a disability, she had appeared to close herself off from the world, not communicating with them because she knew she couldn’t do anything about changing her circumstances which was beyond her control and her parents couldn’t do anything to change that situation. Because of his state of mind I had accompanied him back to the house and notice a Harry Potter door of their daughter’s room at the top of the landing – what I saw I’ll never forget – when I opened the door, the whole room was of Harry Potter – I saw the little girl in the corner looking out the window. All of a sudden I had a flashback and quickly looked around the room and ran back downstairs to ask her father if he could take me back into town as quickly as possible before the stores had closed for the day!

When we got to GAME I had asked the store assistant for a babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2)? Her father had asked you already have a PlayStation 2 why would you want another one? Moments later the store assistant had asked, “Any Games with that?”

I said, “Please could you locate ALL the games that EA (Electronic Arts) had made and released related to “HARRY POTTER!” I had asked the store assistant to place each game individually and in a transparent bag as I had a plan that May or may not work, but I had to give it a try! Her father immediately smiled because he then knew why I had dragged him into town.

Upon arriving back to their house I had asked her mom if I could knock on their daughters room to set yup everything that was brought from the store – and once given permission by both parents I went about setting up the babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2)!

I had taken off my shoes knocked on the door and introduced myself and ask if I could borrow her TV. I went about setting up the console and placed the babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2) joy pad on my right side – at the corner of my eye I could see her mother and father watching as the door was slightly ajar, to what I was doing! I was sitting at the rear-end of her bed as my back wasn’t touching her Harry Potter bed, took out the transparent video games and held one of them up into the air and said “Should I play this, babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2)?, Nah wrong one!”. All of a sudden I felt the bed move, I wasn’t the one that was moving the bed! Got the first one out and said ” There you are, will play this yes babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2)!” The bed moved again! Placed the CD inside the console and started to look around for the joy pad, I couldn’t find it wasn’t where I left it! A scream was herd and again it wasn’t me! I looked at the console and thought where the joy pad is? Followed the cable from the console right to the handheld part of the joy pad itself! It was the young girl playing the console, playing Harry Potter! My job was done!

I cleared up the mess I had made and crawled out the room – where her father was shocked. His Wife was literally downside sobbing and I might add in shock by what they both witnessed!

I tapped her father on the shoulder and went downstairs. As I walked downstairs I could hear the young girl commenting on the spells that was used in the Movie! When her father came downstairs he had asked me why I had done what I did: I walked over to the door and pointed up to the direction of where we could hear screams of happiness and joy coming from they daughter’s bedroom and said:

“Do you hear that? That is the ‘True Spirit of Video Games!’, because that’s where dreams can come true!”

A few seconds later we heard a faint tapping at the door, I had opened the door and her mother had ran off again – I peered to see what see [her mother] had saw and it was the disabled girl with her arms stretch out as if to ask to be picked up? The daughters Father had picked his daughter up and you could tell by his body language he was SHAKING visibly shaking! His wife had come back into the kitchen and their daughter had jested to her father to be passed on to her mother, and her mother was shaking alot more!

What happened next I’ll never forget – she had jested to both her mother and father as if to say something to me! I had moved a chair so she could rest on it and went down on my one knee and said to her:
“If you were 30 years older, I would escort you home and ask for your parents hand in marriage!” She had smiled what I said, as if she knew where I was coming from! I said to her, “You are the most bravest lady I have ever met and will never ever be forgotten, not in my lifetime! Go back upstairs fellow gamer and let me know how the game ends!” We hugged and as we hugged it was as if I could feel her energy ebbing away. The one thing I’ll always remember was the hug which I’ll never forget! As that was the last time I saw her!

The following day I met her father at the gates of the college and he brought me a coffee and had said that for the first time in a long time they had their daughter back and it was a joy to know that a video game can do that! He thanked me and I said “No, no, no, not me was the babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2) and co that deserves all the credit! I had asked him when your daughter passes away in her sleep can you let me know so I can pay me respects? We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways !

A few weeks later I got a text message saying she’d past way in her sleep – I went to the church service and walked to her coffin, draped in Harry Potter linen. There daughter was now at peace and I noticed alongside her was the game that she played and beside that there was a plaque which stated “All we have is our dreams for the True Spirit of Video Games!” I looked directly at the parents and was puzzled by what they had done!
At the wake I walked over to her father we hugged and I had to ask: At the church service I saw what I’ll never forget, why did you fo what you did? He pointed in a direction that I looked at and his wife had opened a door and pointed up towards the roof, I heard this coming from the daughters’ parent:

“Do you hear that? That is the True Spirit of Video Games!”

I looked back towards the daughters’ father and thanked him for what he had done we hugged and as we hugged I said to “I’ll never forget her – NEVER!” Her mother had approached us and I had thanked her also and hugged and said the same thing as I said to her husband! And left them to enjoy the rest of their memories that had of their daughter.

When I got back to my flat I looked at my babie2 (aka: PlayStation 2) I thought to myself that was an experience we (I and the PlayStation brand) will never forget and as a continuing tribute to all those that have a disability or face hardship as that young lady had faced – to honor them, to honor her, and many individuals who goes beyond the call of duty to aid others before themselves I will forever , and for the rest of my life always end with what you and others read – that is Brandon and babie3 slimmy (aka: PlayStation 3 Slim) and co

Now all that reads my posts knows why I sign off by saying what I say with this term Brandon and babie3 slmmy (aka: PlayStation 3 Slim) and co”

Elite Girl Gamer Sprkly Reviews Guild Wars 2

After hearing fantastic things about the wildly customizable character creation and beautiful game world, I recently started playing Guild Wars 2. Here’s my take on the game, for those of you who are considering it as well.

One of the great bonuses of Guild Wars 2 is that there are no subscription fees, unlike most of the mainstream MMO’s we’re used to. You buy the game, then you play it for free for as long as you want. That being said, the up front investment of purchasing the game isn’t too bad either. Prices I found ranged from $46 to $60 USD, depending on if you purchased directly from NCSoft or if you purchased someone’s personal copy for sale on Amazon or eBay, which I would caution you against, as those can be unreliable and can sometimes get you in trouble with the game companies.

When you open Guild Wars 2 for the first time and come to character creation, I have to say I think that’s the best part of the game. There are five races to choose from in the world of Tyria. The Asura are completely adorable little dwarf-like Yoda-looking dudes who are incredibly intelligent and great with magic and crafting. The Sylvari are billed as the “mysterious, noble plant beings” and have a really cool backstory. Having never been born, but simply awakening beneath the Pale Tree and pursuing a life of adventure and discovery, the Sylvari are mysterious and strikingly beautiful. If you’re more interested in a savage, warrior-type race, the Charr are big, tough, cat-like beasts that kick much butt. Then there are the Norn, who look basically human, but come from an icy wasteland and are supposedly “giant,” though I haven’t seen much proportional difference between them and the other races (save for the miniature Asura). And of course, if you prefer to go with a traditional Human character, that’s available too.

Character creation

The next big step is to choose your profession. I won’t go into much detail about these, but you have your magical classes, your warrior classes, and your stealth classes. All of them can heal and support, and are pretty versatile, so what you’re really choosing is your basic combat role with the profession. I find them to be pretty well balanced.

Character creation allows you several choices for your physique, head, hair, and various other physical attributes in extremely high detail. Want a Michael Jackson nose? No problem! Just adjust the nose tip slider until it’s ultra skinny. It can be as detailed as you like. You can also change the colors of your armor set, which is super fun as you get further along in the game because you can acquire new dyes.

So now that your female Sylvari necromancer with the gigantic chest is created, you are delivered into the world of Tyria with some fascinating cut scenes. The cut scenes are pretty interesting and give you some great information about your history and what’s going on in the world now. They’re fun to watch at first, but I found them to be pretty long and now I tend to just skip over them.

Upon arriving in my starter area the first time, I really felt like the world was absolutely beautiful. I was honestly not as impressed with the graphics as I had hoped to be. Perhaps it’s the fact that so many of their character classes are a bit cartoonish that made it feel less realistic, graphically speaking. But with games like Skyrim out right now with the intensely realistic graphics, GW2 wasn’t quite what I was expecting. But it was beautiful, nonetheless.

The gameplay is pretty linear, from what I’ve played so far. You go from one quest to the next, but they do require some brains to figure out at times. It’s not mindless questing like in World of Warcraft, but a bit more puzzle-solving in many cases, which I found very enjoyable. Leveling feels very slow to me, and there isn’t much hand-holding to show you where to go and what to do, so you have to figure out your leveling technique yourself, for the most part.

One thing I haven’t experienced yet is the booming industry of crafting in GW2. Again, there’s not a whole lot of hand-holding going on, so without reading a guide on it, I honestly wouldn’t have any idea where to start with crafting. However, I’m told by some of my guild-mates that one can make a nice chunk of credits by crafting and selling items. It’s a nice draw to those who enjoy the trading and economy aspects of MMO’s.

So far, it doesn’t seem as social as some of the other MMO’s I’ve played. I do belong to a guild, but I haven’t even had a conversation with any players outside of my own guild. I suppose quietness is preferable to whiny kids, though, so I can’t complain much.

For those of you considering playing or not, the things I love about GW2 are the detailed character creation, the versatility of the professions, the quests that make you really use your brain, the beautiful game world and rich backstory. The only things I don’t love are the graphics, which I found a bit more cartoonish than I expected, and the feeling of “sink or swim” in some cases. It’s a game that definitely has a learning curve, and I clearly need to learn a little more of it. All in all, you’ll love how pretty it is and enjoy the questing, if you’re willing to put in the time to learn it.

Why Does CoD Have So Many Haters?

Why Does CoD Have So Many Haters?

I’ve been playing video games my entire life. It started with NES, graduated to Game Boy, advanced to Sega Genesis, and evolved into PlayStation. I took a brief hiatus in my late teen years to drink and smoke, do drugs and have sex, but then quickly returned to an old refuge of gaming in my early 20’s with Call of Duty.  Even though I have progressed as a gamer to playing all kinds of games, Call of Duty holds a special place in my heart for tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me of something I had long since forgotten.

You can’t tell me the classics like Mario and Zelda weren’t the same thing over and over and over…

That being said, after starting a Facebook community where I could find more females to game with, it has been brought to my attention that—I almost can’t even bring myself to write it—there are people out there that hate Call of Duty. Hate it. Can’t STAND it. So I sit here, perplexed, trying to figure out why people could hate on a game like this. How someone could loathe a game that has sold so many copies worldwide, and has the mass-appeal of a game like Duty. I decided to delve into it a little further, and see what I could discover.

The term ‘fanboy.’ It fits here perfectly. You have people on the Xbox side that say, “HALO is the best shooter. Ever. Hands Down.” You have people on the PlayStation side that say, “Call of Duty is the best,” and then you have people that throw hate on both sides, regardless of console and title, and hate both games. Why? Why would someone hate a game SO MUCH, that they feel the need to talk about it? They feel the hate boiling to a point that they can no longer hold it in, and it gets thrown all over my computer screen. It’s got to be only time in my life I have seen so many men open up and freely express their feelings. J

 Every gamer has their preference. Every gamer feels that their console or PC is superior. Every gamer thinks they are right in their opinions and beliefs of a game, regardless of the mass appeal or genre. I’ve been told that “a true gamer has no preference, and plays everything,” but that’s a crock of crap. Everyone has a favorite. A true gamer has played countless hours and countless games, on countless consoles, and to ask someone to not have a favorite is almost impossible, but I digress.

I’ve been told that Call of Duty is an abomination. It’s a slap in the face to a “real” game, if you will. I’ve been told ‘this game takes no talent,’ ‘is garbage,’ ‘is filled with nine-year-old kids,’ and is flawed beyond belief. That its’ developers are lazy, money-hungry people who want nothing more than to take your money and offer DLC later to get even MORE money. I will say, in the haters’ defense, that—yes—it IS pretty much the same thing, year after year, game after game. That’s what the followers WANT. It’s been proven by the sales generated by this series. If the Duty-lovers honestly wanted something different, they wouldn’t keep buying year after year. Simple as that. The bottom line is the game adds new features, killstreaks, perks, and challenges every release. It was once explained to me in a way similar to this: Call of Duty is the fast-food of the gaming industry. While everyone wants to hate on how bad it is, they are still standing in line waiting to get it and stuff their mouths with its’ deliciousness. You know exactly what you’re getting every time you order. It’s convenient and widespread and available. But so are a lot of other games.

It makes me feel like these are excuses for not playing the game, not reasons. I don’t know what your views are but I know where I stand.  People try to compare and contrast CoD to other games like Battlefield, but honestly, those are two different kinds of games. You can’t compare a corridor shooter like CoD to a long-range, in-depth game like Battlefield. You just can’t. It’s like comparing apples to…well…more complicated, genetically engineered, hybrid apples. Same TYPE of game, but completely different, and anyone who has played both knows this.

I don’t hate any game. I can’t say I’ve ever played a game that I hated. I’ve played games that weren’t interesting, games I didn’t like, and games that flat-out sucked, but I’ve never played a game that I hate. After scouring the interwebs, I’ve decided that there is no right answer. The Call of Duty series is popular, and that is why I believe it has so many haters. With the record-breaking sales it encountered, you’re gonna have some haters in there somewhere. As for the game ‘taking no talent’ to play, that’s all a matter of opinion. I have a feeling that most of the people saying it ‘takes no talent,’ most likely have no patience within the game, or get beaten into submission when trying to play. I don’t know. Someone tell me why there’s all this hate flying around! Nothing can spark a fire inside someone so hot and burning, that hate bubbles out of their mouth for no reason. In my opinion, any game that can get millions of people all around the world to pick up a controller and play—is a good game. Any game that engages and captivates its’ audience to the point in which you aren’t thinking about your problems, only a strategy to the game, is a good game in my book.  But…R.Kelly said it best when he said, “Haters gon’ hate,” I suppose.

Why Skyrim Just May Be The Best Game Of All-Time

Why Skyrim Just May Be The Best Game of All Time

 

My husband bought Skyrim the day it came out. I saw him playing it, and had no idea what was so enchanting (pun intended) about the game. Oh, wow. You can take women’s clothes off and ravage people’s homes? Wow…innovative– I thought sarcastically…at first. And then I picked it up and started playing it. Needless to say, the amount of sandwiches my husband has since received since I started playing this game has dropped dramatically.

I realize now why it’s so captivating and why people can’t seem to put it down. It’s an infinite world–pretty much– where you can do anything you want. Wanna wander aimlessly collecting awkward things, and looking at scenery? Go ahead. Nothing’s stopping you. Wanna do the missions completely out of the order they’re supposed to be completed in? Fine.  Wanna ride a horse up a mountain and ravage helpless people in their homes and steal everything they own? Done.

I really, wholeheartedly believe that Skyrim just may be the best game of all time. In a world where FPS games are ruling, and name-calling and immaturity run wild, Bethesda has given us yet another amazing breath of fresh air. It allows you to completely immerse yourself into the Province of Skyrim, forget about your problems, and live as your character in an open world that allows you to go anywhere and do anything.

Skyrim has what I call “the just one more” factor, and that is yet another reason why it is so compelling and addictive. Just one more mission, you tell yourself. Biggest lie EVER. When I get back to Whiterun and it saves, I’m going to go to bed. As soon as I drop some items in my chest, I’m done. Five hours later, you’re fighting a dragon at the top of a mountain, or wandering through a field collecting mountain flowers to make weird potions you’ll never use.  One does not simply play Skyrim for an hour. Or two.  It’s the Pringles of the gaming industry. Once you pop, you sure as hell can’t stop.

I wonder how long it would take…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started playing telling myself I’m “only gonna play for a little bit,” then four hours later, I have no idea how much time has passed, or what my actual goals for the day were.  And that, my friends, is a sure sign of an amazing game. If a game can make you forget your problems and the outside world, if only for a moment, then it is good. If a game can make you forget about your problems and the outside world for hours on end, with no desire whatsoever to stop playing, then it is excellent. Pure excellence.

Gotta love the dragon souls!

The most important thing about Skyrim is that it appeals to everyone. Anyone from a young kid to my Grandma could play this game—and enjoy the hell out of it.  The fact that you can make the story what you want it to be, have choices, go anywhere you like and do whatever you want, makes it a good, progressive, innovative game. The fact that you are immediately immersed in this fictional world, and have a desire to see the story as you have shaped it unfold—makes it a great game, and the fact that ANYONE can just pick it up and have the same kind of experience, makes it the best and most appealing game on the market to date…in my opinion. I have never been a fan of RPGs before. I always thought they were boring and uninteresting. Until Skyrim. Bethesda is an RPG powerhouse, and I’m excited to see what the future of their company will offer us.

We Are The 1%

Sometimes it seems to me that the gaming industry is stuck in the 1950′s.

Chicks play games, too. Now more than EVER. I don’t want gaming companies to feel like they have to cater to my tastes, because they don’t. My ‘tastes’ are what’s good and current. I like all the same things as males do. I don’t want them to start adding pink, frilly, girly aspects to their games, rather, I’d like them to simply acknowledge that women DO play games, and DO kick ass. Come on, gaming industry! Get with the damn times!

The members of my community would love to see more female characters in games. We want more powerful, role model-esque females to relate to and show our children. We want equality in the gaming world.

We want commercials that show REAL WOMEN, playing real games. We don’t want to see women standing in the background, yelling at their significant others for playing games. We want to be shown how we really are–sitting right along side of our men, cheering them on, grabbing second player and getting in on the action.

More and more women are entering the vast world of gaming, and we’d like to be heard…at least acknowledged. Women are taking over the gaming industry and communities, and within these areas, our voices are heard, and we are accepted. Why not in the actual gaming world? Why are there still all these stereotypes and stigmas associated with us? I’ve been gaming since the early 90′s, and it seems not much but the graphics have advanced. We’re still stuck in this “un-equal” world, where chicks get bashed for being chicks on multiplayer. Trash talk me for kicking your ass, just like you do to everyone else. Why does the fact that I’m a chick even matter? I can’t tell you how many lobbies I’ve been in where people say, “You’re a chick?! Wow, you’re actually pretty good!” As if just because I am a woman, I’m automatically expected to suck? How does that make sense? Why is it so surprising that a chick could love games and pwn noobs just like any other? I would love to see a day where the majority of the gaming community are tolerant and accepting of everyone, instead of just saying they are. Having my own gaming community has shown me that–yes– there are some tolerant, like-minded individuals out there, but there are also a HELL of a lot of the opposite–Gamers who are stuck in an old way of thinking.

Old people aren’t open to receiving new ways of thinking and doing things, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen so many young people with such an old way of thinking.

 

I think it has a little to do with the fact that women these days (and men, too) are a little overwhelmed. Yes, we have families, work, school, other obligations that get in the way, and I suppose women are seen to be the supreme rulers of their homes and managers of their family’s day-to-day lives. I can see where some people would doubt a woman’s dedication to gaming with all those other ‘life demands’ in the way.  But what about the people like me who do love games and integrate them into our daily lives? What about the ladies who love writing about games, researching them,  empowering other women to do the same? I suppose ‘we are the 1%’.      :)

 

To all the people who say, “Oh, we’re all gamers, it doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or a guy or WHAT!” Yeah, you’re right. We’re all on the same battlefield. But it does matter to me. I’m proud to be a chick, and happy to be a gamer. Why can’t I be both? What’s the problem with that? We should, as a community, just be excited that women are now entering a male-dominated world, and feeling empowered enough to try and bring new life and new perspectives to it.

American Beauty

Feeling compelled to blog this morning. Not sure why. I woke up pretty happy, actually got to sleep in ’til around 830am, thanks to an exhausted child who decided that sleeping in would be amazing…I concurred. But when I actually got up and started my day, it would seem that I’m in a funk. I decided to write to try and bring myself out of it.

Why am I feeling this way this morning? How can I wake up from a generally all-around good rest, to an adorable child who is nothing but  simply happy to see me and be alive? I am lucky, for sure. Lucky to live in a nice place, with nice things. Lucky to have an amazing family who loves me, and whom I love back more than anything. Lucky just to be here, and be alive. See? Wow. This is already working. I’m already feeling a little better. But I digress…

Sometimes, after some things in life I have been through, it’s hard to NOT be in a funk. It’s hard to NOT see a mental image of my Dad dying right in front of me, taking his last breath with his body swollen and looking nothing like himself. It’s so hard sometimes to see anything but his booted feet laying in a casket. Sometimes, I can’t see anything but the way he looked when he died. I try so hard to remember the good times. I try so hard to remind myself what a life-changing, eye-opening experience it was to watch someone you love take their last breath…to hear the death rattle…how you will never be the same person after an experience like that. After a childhood like mine, in the last weeks of my Dad’s life, I got so much closure. He apologized for things he had done, said, and the person he had been in my childhood. He wholeheartedly, genuinely apologized. For everything. I had been carrying around so much…hate. SO much anger over things that had happened in my childhood. I was angry at my parents. Not anymore. Not after that. He apologized, and I forgave. And now…I still forgive. And it feels good, actually. Even though I am crying while I write this very sentence. I forgave him for everything. Because he asked me to. And because I deserved to get rid of that negativity I had been carrying around for so long.

Now, I’m feeling negative for different reasons. I’m stuck in this mind state for the moment. Writing seems to be the only thing that’s helping to bring me out of it and into my next phase of life, so bear with me, here.

Sometimes, when I look at my son, all I can see is fleeting time. I see him a year ago, and before that. A small baby. He’s growing so fast, and sometimes it makes my heart hurt that one day, he’ll be driving me around, graduating school, getting married, having children of his own. Sometimes, all these realizations are too much for me. I can’t handle the severity of how amazing and deep life is, sometimes. We all go through our day-to-day lives, usually not thinking about the things that REALLY MATTER. Our family, friends, the people who love us. We’re too busy with work, deadlines, school, kids…We don’t think about the life-changers on a daily basis. At least, I know I don’t. I go about my daily life just merely trying to get through the day with us all in one piece. Until the week before my period…then it all comes out. LOL. I can’t help it. It just happens, and it seems I am a bystander in my own head. All this sadness and emotion takes over, and I can’t control it. I have to write about it. I have to get it all out in some way, or I’m afraid it will eat me alive on the inside, and come out in some fiery, mean rampage that I can’t take back.

 

So for now, I’m feeling much better that I got all of that out somewhere. It feels nice to talk about things when they are bothering you, even if that ‘talking’ is simply writing your feelings down into a blog entry that a few hundred people will read. Believe me, I’m not trying to bring you all down…I’m trying to bring myself up. I’m trying to remind people that there is always something worse, and there is always something MUCH BETTER to look forward to. Writing this entry, along with my son running around the house with a booger on his finger, laughing and cheering as if he had won a prize surely cheered me up. It’s hard to stay sad when there’s so much beauty in the world…

“I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.” –American Beauty